On Thursday I completed my MMPI, after fighting horrible construction traffic on the highway I don't normally take on my regular route home. I was panicking that I wouldn't make it in time, since my husband had told me earlier in the day it took him almost an hour and a half and that didn't leave me much time to get the test done before the office closed. Eventually I just gave up and left that highway, took the highway I normally take even though it was a much farther drive distancewise, and managed to get there by 5:45. (Note to self and other St. Louis residents: when driving at rush hour, no matter where you are going, Highway 40 is NEVER the answer.)
The test was, well, pretty dumb. It was a scantron with over 500 true/false questions. I would imagine that anyone with half a brain (personality disorder or not) would be able to figure out the "correct" answers to most of the questions. I dunno, but I wasn't worried, and I whipped that thing out in an hour and was home to see my daughter before her bedtime.
Then yesterday morning was the actual in person psych evaluation for my husband and me. We got there, resisted the efforts of the receptionist to try to pry my insurance card out of me (I KNEW no one would have any idea what was going on and try to bill me...this office is not organized.), and I filled out a "mood" questionnaire about my level of depression that particular day. No, I didn't feel like killing myself, but thanks for asking. I'm sure it was standard for the regular patients but I'm guessing I probably didn't need to fill that out.
Then we got into the room with the doctor. He sits us down on the couch, and opens with, "So, you want to adopt!" Umm....no. Seriously? After we explained that we had to be screened so I could be a surrogate, he says, "Oh! Well what am I supposed to do?" "I guess you're supposed to make sure we won't have a mental break and run off with the baby after it's born?"
After that, we basically answered a lot of fact questions about the process of surrogacy, and gave him a general background on our families and relationship. The doctor was actually really nice and was really easy to talk to. It was a pretty pleasant hour. At the end he told us he had no concerns about us, thought we were a wonderful "normal" couple, and that we were doing a great thing. He hadn't gotten our MMPI results back yet, but said he wasn't worried about it. He said he didn't put much stock in that test anyway, and even if it came back with something flagged he would still be able to clear us for surrogacy. I promised him that they would be fine, since the voices in my head told me not to tell anyone about them so I answered no on all those questions - the doctor just laughed.
I left the office with mixed feelings - it certainly wasn't what I expected. We basically just discussed the surface process of surrogacy without actually getting much into the emotions involved. Issues like termination/selective reduction, relationship with my IPs, and separation from the baby after it was born weren't even touched on. On the one hand I was glad we had such an "easy" interview, but on the other I felt kind of guilty, like I was getting by without being properly tested.
I guess it went well, because the psychologist called my agency right after we left the office to tell her that he thought we were wonderful and would be writing up a report ASAP. She asked me for feedback on him and I mentioned his initial confusion about the nature of the appointment, and said that I felt like we got off a little easy. She assured me that his job is to catch personality disorders, which he can do while discussing any topic, and she was sure we were fine if he cleared us. So who knows, maybe his strategy is to feig ignorance in order to glean our interpretation of what surrogacy is? We'll say that.
Anyway, now we are just waiting for the official MMPI results and his report so we can (finally!) schedule my medical screening.
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