Yesterday my husband and I had a conference call with the potential IPs. We were all a bit nervous at first, but overall I think it went really well. We had some questions prepared, and so did they, so we were able to keep the conversation going well. It seems like we agree on all of the big stuff, and they were super sweet and I think our personalities would blend well. They seem to be very laid back, which is nice because my caseworker told me that often times IPs, particularly IMs (intended mothers), have been through so much that they struggle with trying to have as much control as they can in such an unusual situation. If there is one thing I hate, it's feeling like I'm being bossed around or micromanaged, so their personalities will probably go well with mine. They said they didn't have any intention of trying to mandate my diet or activities while pregnant, and were even fine with me going on the international trip I have planned for the fall. They emphasized that even though I would be pregnant with their baby, I should still get to live my own life and enjoy my family.
On their end, they said that they wouldn't want to bother me or step on my toes but were hoping to be at least a little involved with the pregnancy. They asked if I would be OK with them attending any of the appointments. I told them that the pregnancy experience was wonderful for my husband and me, but it was something we had already been through. Even though IM wouldn't be the one to get to be pregnant first hand, it would still be their pregnancy to me. I told them that even if they wanted to come to every single appointment, they would be welcome. I feel like this situation is already so unnatural that they deserve to make the experience as much "theirs" as it can be. Since they live in another city, I'm not sure how often they will actually be able to come down, but I certainly don't want them to feel like they shouldn't come for fear of bothering me.
Overall, considering how awkward it is to basically interview someone to have your baby for you, my husband and I thought it went really well. There wasn't anything we didn't like about them, but we both found that one phone conversation wasn't quite enough for us to say we were 100% sure we wanted to dedicate the next year or so of our lives to having a baby for this couple. I emailed the case worker with how I thought it went and to see what her thoughts were on where we could go from here.
She emailed me back to say the IPs had liked us as well and would like to move forward. She thought an in person meeting would be a logical next step. The case worker is currently out of town on business, but she will be back on Wednesday and we can iron out details then. I'm not sure when we will be able to meet up because we have busy schedules coming up and I know the IPs do too, but I'm hopeful that we can get something worked out.
I can't believe I might be matched soon!
Sounds like it went well! When you meet face to face you will instantly know without a doubt. That's how it was for us!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
:)
K