I have yet to experience the wave of hormone-induced emotions that go along with delivering a baby. I remember with my daughter they started up about a week after delivery and lasted a couple weeks, where I would just be sitting there minding my own business and suddenly start crying over nothing. I wonder if these crazy hormones are hiding just around the corner waiting to spring on me, or if all the extra sleep this time around (one of the perks of surrogacy is maternity leave without the round the clock newborn care) is going to keep them at bay.
I still do not miss the babies or wish I was with them. It overjoys me to hear that they are thriving with their family. Sometimes it feels like it never even happened...it feels more like I'm just recovering from an abdominal surgery and there is no evidence that the babies were ever there. I'm also not sad that the journey is over. I think I might have had a harder time adjusting to the change in my relationship with my IPs if I had been closer to them during the journey. Don't get me wrong they were wonderful people who I adore and they were so deserving of becoming parents, but I don't think we would have become friends if we met under different circumstances. They treated me wonderfully throughout the journey and I have absolutely no complaints about them, but we just never became emotionally close. So now that they have their babies and I am no longer an essential part of their world, I have not had to deal with rejection or even a much lessened level of communication. I have received texts from both of them over the last week, and it warms my heart to know that they are still thinking of me even in their spit-uppy, poopy, sleep deprived states. I did not expect a lot of communication and everything I get seems like a nice bonus to the satisfaction I got from the journey itself.
Physically I am doing well. I have been able to move around a little more easily every day. Yesterday I decided it was time to dump the narcotics and I am surviving just on ibuprofen and acetaminophen now. Today I ran an errand and met a friend for lunch, and while I was hurting by the end of it, I am happy to say I made it through. I'm expecting that in another week I should be able to go about my life normally (while still observing the no lifting, no pool, no sex, etc. instructions of course). I am really enjoying the extra time with my daughter - she is almost two and it's so fun to see her language skills and personality blossom a little more each day.
I gained a total of 42 pounds during the pregnancy, and I have lost 24 so far. Only 18 more to go! The swelling in my feet continued to be terrible for the first several days after surgery, but this morning I looked down and saw my normal ankles! I am also back in my normal wedding ring as of yesterday, which is something that took me weeks to accomplish after my last pregnancy. So I'm feeling pretty good about myself. Other than my scar, my stomach doesn't look too bad, and I only came out of this pregnancy with a couple new stretch marks. My skin does kind of hang there, and I'm looking forward to being cleared to exercise so I can get my tummy back to the way it was before.
My milk decided to try to come in on Sunday night, and Monday night and Tuesday were spent in a lot of pain, with a lot of ice shoved into my sports bra. My IPs decided they did not want me to pump for the babies. I don't blame them, on top of everything else they have going on, the last thing they need to worry about is how to get their babies' food shipped safely to them. I would have pumped for them if they had asked, but honestly I'm a little relieved that I can move on with my life and work on getting my body back to normal. My boobs are still feeling uncomfortable today, but definitely better than yesterday so I'm hoping that in a couple more days they will be back to normal.
Next Thursday I have my 2 week post partum check up with my doctor. If everything looks good, that will be the last time I will have to see him related to this pregnancy. I asked him in the hospital how long he recommends waiting to get pregnant again (yes, I love pregnancy THAT much - almost as much as eating!), and he said that 18 months would be best to avoid complications that might prevent me from having a successful vaginal birth after c-section (VBAC), but in any case I need to wait at least 8-12 months. So for the next year or so, my adventures will have to revolve around something other than pregnancy. I have a lot of plans up my sleeve though, so I'm sure I will be just fine!
No comments:
Post a Comment