Monday, April 23, 2012
They Like Me!
So I just got a call from the case worker on her way home from a meeting with the IPs. They loved my profile and are excited to meet me. She is going to forward me their profile tonight for my husband and me to review. I hope we make a good match!
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Waiting
My medical records were reviewed and everything looked good. The only thing I need to do is get a current pap and start birth control pills (BCP), so I have an appointment for next week to get that taken care of.
I believe my profile was sent to the potential IPs on Monday night. Last night the coordinator emailed me to let me know she was waiting to hear back and said she would follow up with them at the end of this week. I'm so nervous waiting! I want them to like me, and the longer I wait the more I'm afraid they don't want to work with me.
Now the logical part of me understands that it takes time to make such an important decision. They are, after all, choosing someone who they will have to trust to take care of their baby for 9 months while they have essentially no power to do anything to control her actions and choices. But the emotional part of me wishes they had seen my profile and immediately said, "YES! She's the one we've been waiting for!"
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I will hear that they would like to move forward with considering me by the end of the week.
I believe my profile was sent to the potential IPs on Monday night. Last night the coordinator emailed me to let me know she was waiting to hear back and said she would follow up with them at the end of this week. I'm so nervous waiting! I want them to like me, and the longer I wait the more I'm afraid they don't want to work with me.
Now the logical part of me understands that it takes time to make such an important decision. They are, after all, choosing someone who they will have to trust to take care of their baby for 9 months while they have essentially no power to do anything to control her actions and choices. But the emotional part of me wishes they had seen my profile and immediately said, "YES! She's the one we've been waiting for!"
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I will hear that they would like to move forward with considering me by the end of the week.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Back on Track
Hooray! The coordinator let me know that she got my medical records today. She is going to review them and get back to me within the next day or so. Hopefully she will be able to forward my profile to the potential IPs by the end of the week!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Small Hold Up
So the coordinator from Pink & Blue Surrogacy had planned on forwarding my profile to the potential IPs last week, but unfortunately she has not received my medical records yet. She faxed over the request for my records two weeks prior and had hoped to have them by the middle of last week.
She asked me to follow up with my doctor's office to see if I could move the process along. I was able to get in touch with the medical records department directly, and they gave me their direct fax with a promise that it would have a quicker turn around that way. So here's to hoping that's the case. I would really love to get the ball rolling and see if these IPs like me!
She asked me to follow up with my doctor's office to see if I could move the process along. I was able to get in touch with the medical records department directly, and they gave me their direct fax with a promise that it would have a quicker turn around that way. So here's to hoping that's the case. I would really love to get the ball rolling and see if these IPs like me!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Matching
Since this where I am in my journey, I thought it would be nice to give a bit of an explanation of the matching process. For those who have not gone through it before, it takes a lot more than pairing a hopeful parent up with an available uterus. There are tons of different things to take into consideration.
The first thing to consider what type of IPs you want to work with. Do you want to work with a traditional or a same sex couple? How about a single person? What geographical location are you looking for - local, in the US, or international? Do you care about their religion, age, how long they've been together, or whether they already have children? There are all different types of IPs out there, and no matter who you are looking to help there will be someone who fits your criteria. It's best to be honest with yourself, your agency, and your potential matches up front to save yourself time in the long run. I'm sure the IPs looking for surrogates have a list of basic requirements they are looking for as well (age, medical history, location, etc.)
Another issue to consider is how well you "click" with each other, and what kind of relationship you are looking for. Are you hoping to be close, or are you looking for more of a basic business relationship? Do you want your IPs to be involved in the pregnancy and willing and able to come to the transfer, doctors appointments, and the birth? How about after the baby is born - do you want to maintain contact? If so, how much? Some people look for anything from occasional pictures and updates to hoping to be like extended family, and some would rather just move on with their lives. If you are hoping for a close relationship, it's important that you get along well. What do you have in common? Is it easy to talk to one another? What are your IPs' expectations for a GS during the pregnancy - can you meet those requirements?
A third area to think about is where you both stand on the "big questions." The biggest of these is where you stand on the issues of abortion and selective reduction. Are you willing to terminate a pregnancy, and if so, for what reasons? If your IPs would want the option to terminate in case of Downs Syndrome and you will not do so, then the match won't work no matter how much you like each other. The same thing goes for selective reduction, which is most often used to reduce the number of fetuses from 3 or more to 2 by performing a selective abortion. This is an area where you can't have the "it won't happen to me" attitude. Since a lot of times the egg is coming from a mother of AMA (advanced maternal age, or over the age of 35), there are increased risks for these types of things. Other questions to take into consideration are whether you would be willing to have an invasive procedure such as an amnio at the parents' request or doctor's recommendation, and how many embryos you would feel comfortable transferring at a time, and how many transfers (or "tries") you are willing to commit to.
Finally, there is the issue that everyone is uncomfortable talking about, but is extremely important: money. At first glance it may seem selfish or a "get rich quick" strategy to take money for carrying someone's baby for them. But when you stop to think about all that goes into it, you realize the justification. The GS has to spend time away from her family and job when she travels for medical screening and embryo transfers. She has to give herself injections of IVF meds for 3+ months, and multiple times if the first transfer(s) aren't successful. She has to miss work and/or find childcare for doctor appointments and the birth. And in addition to the regular emotional and physical strains of pregnancy and delivery, she is also assuming the risk of carrying multiples, being put on bed rest, having to suffer through a miscarriage, termination, c-section, or other invasive procedures, and possibly even losing her own fertility or her life. A GS has to decide how much compensation all of that is worth to her and her family, and she and her IPs have to be willing and able to pay that amount.
With all of that said, here's to hoping that I find the right match for me!
The first thing to consider what type of IPs you want to work with. Do you want to work with a traditional or a same sex couple? How about a single person? What geographical location are you looking for - local, in the US, or international? Do you care about their religion, age, how long they've been together, or whether they already have children? There are all different types of IPs out there, and no matter who you are looking to help there will be someone who fits your criteria. It's best to be honest with yourself, your agency, and your potential matches up front to save yourself time in the long run. I'm sure the IPs looking for surrogates have a list of basic requirements they are looking for as well (age, medical history, location, etc.)
Another issue to consider is how well you "click" with each other, and what kind of relationship you are looking for. Are you hoping to be close, or are you looking for more of a basic business relationship? Do you want your IPs to be involved in the pregnancy and willing and able to come to the transfer, doctors appointments, and the birth? How about after the baby is born - do you want to maintain contact? If so, how much? Some people look for anything from occasional pictures and updates to hoping to be like extended family, and some would rather just move on with their lives. If you are hoping for a close relationship, it's important that you get along well. What do you have in common? Is it easy to talk to one another? What are your IPs' expectations for a GS during the pregnancy - can you meet those requirements?
A third area to think about is where you both stand on the "big questions." The biggest of these is where you stand on the issues of abortion and selective reduction. Are you willing to terminate a pregnancy, and if so, for what reasons? If your IPs would want the option to terminate in case of Downs Syndrome and you will not do so, then the match won't work no matter how much you like each other. The same thing goes for selective reduction, which is most often used to reduce the number of fetuses from 3 or more to 2 by performing a selective abortion. This is an area where you can't have the "it won't happen to me" attitude. Since a lot of times the egg is coming from a mother of AMA (advanced maternal age, or over the age of 35), there are increased risks for these types of things. Other questions to take into consideration are whether you would be willing to have an invasive procedure such as an amnio at the parents' request or doctor's recommendation, and how many embryos you would feel comfortable transferring at a time, and how many transfers (or "tries") you are willing to commit to.
Finally, there is the issue that everyone is uncomfortable talking about, but is extremely important: money. At first glance it may seem selfish or a "get rich quick" strategy to take money for carrying someone's baby for them. But when you stop to think about all that goes into it, you realize the justification. The GS has to spend time away from her family and job when she travels for medical screening and embryo transfers. She has to give herself injections of IVF meds for 3+ months, and multiple times if the first transfer(s) aren't successful. She has to miss work and/or find childcare for doctor appointments and the birth. And in addition to the regular emotional and physical strains of pregnancy and delivery, she is also assuming the risk of carrying multiples, being put on bed rest, having to suffer through a miscarriage, termination, c-section, or other invasive procedures, and possibly even losing her own fertility or her life. A GS has to decide how much compensation all of that is worth to her and her family, and she and her IPs have to be willing and able to pay that amount.
With all of that said, here's to hoping that I find the right match for me!
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