The few hours after delivery were a bit of a blur, as I was in recovery and heavily drugged, and my IPs were still driving to St. Louis. Unfortunately I called them to start driving right at the beginning of Chicago rush hour, so it took them forever to get out of the city, and then they had to deal with construction and traffic the whole way to St. Louis. They ended up not arriving at the hospital until about 4:30pm.
Since they were not going to make it any time soon, shortly after delivery they texted to ask for a picture of the boys. My husband went up to the nursery and got some cute shots of them getting their baths and getting bundled up. I was not prepared to get out of bed yet (it took a few hours for the epidural to wear off and for me to be able to move my legs) so I just decided to wait until my IPs arrived to see the babies for the first time.
Once my IPs finally made it, they stopped by my room first so that they could get their wrist bands for access to the babies. Then we headed up to the recovery floor (the hospital staff had put me in the long-term bedrest unit so that I wouldn't have to deal with hearing newborns in case I had emotional problems after delivery) and to the nursery where the babies were being kept. My husband and I were able to get some photos of the first moments of my IPs meeting their sons. IF got emotional, and as he held one of the babies he had tears in his eyes, and IM was just soaking in her babies. I don't think she took her eyes off of them from the moment we first saw them until we left the hospital two days later. We were able to take the babies to the recovery room they had prepared for my IPs so they could spend time together and bond.
Throughout the first day, L (Baby A) had a bit of a scare with his blood sugar levels, and the doctors said they might have to move him to the NICU, but he balanced out quickly and both babies were healthy in every other way. During the hospital stay they made it through their circumcisions (my OB performed the surgery for both of them), their hearing tests, and their 6 hour car seat tests with flying colors. L was a great eater, and I suspect he will catch up to his brother in weight very soon, and O was a bit more lazy and enjoyed sleeping while being held. IM refers to L as her "angel baby" because he is so sweet and never complains, and O as her "sour sweet" baby, because he is a bit more grouchy.
On Thursday and Friday, we had to deal with the attorney and her legal assistant to get all the legal paperwork sorted out. We signed all the paternity paperwork and our lawyer took them to the judge to get it signed ASAP. They were also able to convince the hospital to just go ahead and put my IPs' names on the birth certificates, so that my name never appeared on anything related to the babies. There were some communication issues, but between the lawyer, the hospital social worker, my IPs and I, we managed to get it all done.
Friday afternoon rolled around, and it was time to check out. I went up to say goodbye to my IPs and their babies one more time. They were doing great with them and I know they will be fantastic parents. I didn't ever feel any sort of attachment to the babies. In fact, when I looked at them or pictures of them, it was hard to believe that they had been inside me for the last 8 months. They just seemed like any other set of newborns - cute, but I had no desire to keep them, or even to hold them. I asked my IPs to stay in touch from time to time, and told them I would love to see/hear how the boys are growing and developing. I know they will be very busy in the coming weeks getting used to two newborns, so I am not counting on lots of communication. I just know that a lot of my time, effort, and health went into giving my IPs their family, and I just would love to be reminded occasionally of the happy ending I helped create.
This morning (at an ungodly early hour - man how their lives have changed already) I received a very sweet text from my IF, checking in to see how I'm feeling and letting me know that they are doing great. He thanked me for what I did for them and how I helped them get their "miracle." The text warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes - I am so happy that I was able to make such deserving people parents!
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Birth Story Part II: Delivery!
As soon as my doctor told me he wanted to do a C-section within the hour, I called my husband (who was in a dead sleep) to tell him to drop our daughter off at daycare and get his butt over to the hospital. While we waited for him to arrive, they prepped me for surgery. This involved hooking me up to various monitors, hooking me up to fluids via IV, having me sign consent forms, and shaving me "down there." Then we ho hummed for a while waiting for my husband to show up, then it was off to the OR.
There were probably about 15 medical people in the room, between the doctors actually doing surgery, their support staff, and the students just observing the procedure. I asked my doctor which doctors were there for the babies, and he told me they weren't even there yet...so all sorts of people there just for me. The anesthesiologist did the epidural/spinal block thingy so I could remain awake during the procedure. Then they got me settled on the table, strapped down my arms crucifix style, and I guess started hacking away. I was completely numb but could feel all sorts of weird pulling sensations that I didn't want to know what they were. I was scared at the beginning, but I passed the time by joking with my husband and the anesthesiologist. From time to time I asked the anesthesiologist questions about whether what I was feeling was normal. For example, I recall asking him if it was normal to feel dizzy, cold, and like my teeth were heavy. He told me all of it was normal (even the teeth, I guess).
After several minutes, Baby A was born at 9:01 am. My husband was ready with the camera to snap a couple pictures of the babies as they came out, but before he had a chance, a doctor had whisked him right out of the room to an observation room across the hall. We were both a little upset about that as we had promised the IPs we would get pictures for them, so one of the lovely medical students offered to take pictures of Baby B once he was born and before he was taken out of the room. At 9:03, Baby B was born, and her was NOT happy about it. He had a very nice strong cry/scream as he followed his brother into the next room.
It took them about another hour to finish closing me back up. I remember feeling STARVING while they were doing the surgery, and talking about how I could really go for a hamburger, then deciding that it would probably be better to wait at least until they finished putting my stomach back in my body. I also remember thinking that it was so strange that all of a sudden, the babies were born and the journey was over.
Once they closed me up, my doctor told me that everything had gone perfectly with the surgery, I had lost very little blood for someone with twins, and that I did great. He asked if I had any questions, and I asked when I could eat again. He told me it would probably be 5-6 hours, as they would start me off with fluids and see how I held them down. Yep, pretty much that whole morning I was focused on food.
I would love to share the babies' names and photos of them with everyone, as they are cute as buttons. But my IPs have asked me not to share their photos or names on the internet, and I am going to respect their wishes for their children. So the stats I can share with you are:
"L" (formerly known as Baby A)
Born July 31, 2013 at 9:01am
5lbs, 1oz
18" long
"O" (formerly known as Baby B)
Born July 31, 2013 at 9:03am
5lbs, 8oz
19" long
There were probably about 15 medical people in the room, between the doctors actually doing surgery, their support staff, and the students just observing the procedure. I asked my doctor which doctors were there for the babies, and he told me they weren't even there yet...so all sorts of people there just for me. The anesthesiologist did the epidural/spinal block thingy so I could remain awake during the procedure. Then they got me settled on the table, strapped down my arms crucifix style, and I guess started hacking away. I was completely numb but could feel all sorts of weird pulling sensations that I didn't want to know what they were. I was scared at the beginning, but I passed the time by joking with my husband and the anesthesiologist. From time to time I asked the anesthesiologist questions about whether what I was feeling was normal. For example, I recall asking him if it was normal to feel dizzy, cold, and like my teeth were heavy. He told me all of it was normal (even the teeth, I guess).
After several minutes, Baby A was born at 9:01 am. My husband was ready with the camera to snap a couple pictures of the babies as they came out, but before he had a chance, a doctor had whisked him right out of the room to an observation room across the hall. We were both a little upset about that as we had promised the IPs we would get pictures for them, so one of the lovely medical students offered to take pictures of Baby B once he was born and before he was taken out of the room. At 9:03, Baby B was born, and her was NOT happy about it. He had a very nice strong cry/scream as he followed his brother into the next room.
It took them about another hour to finish closing me back up. I remember feeling STARVING while they were doing the surgery, and talking about how I could really go for a hamburger, then deciding that it would probably be better to wait at least until they finished putting my stomach back in my body. I also remember thinking that it was so strange that all of a sudden, the babies were born and the journey was over.
Once they closed me up, my doctor told me that everything had gone perfectly with the surgery, I had lost very little blood for someone with twins, and that I did great. He asked if I had any questions, and I asked when I could eat again. He told me it would probably be 5-6 hours, as they would start me off with fluids and see how I held them down. Yep, pretty much that whole morning I was focused on food.
I would love to share the babies' names and photos of them with everyone, as they are cute as buttons. But my IPs have asked me not to share their photos or names on the internet, and I am going to respect their wishes for their children. So the stats I can share with you are:
"L" (formerly known as Baby A)
Born July 31, 2013 at 9:01am
5lbs, 1oz
18" long
"O" (formerly known as Baby B)
Born July 31, 2013 at 9:03am
5lbs, 8oz
19" long
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Birth Story Part I: Labor
OK, so I really want to type up the boys' birth story before I forget all the details, but I am having such a hard time staying awake whenever I sit down at my computer. So I'm going to try to get it out there in bits and pieces.
On Tuesday, July 30th, I went to work as normal. My temp who has been hired to take over my job while I am gone had started the day before, so it was my second day of training her. I had been averaging about 10 contractions a day for two or three weeks, so I found I was tending to ignore them when they popped up. So one solution I had for this was just writing down whenever I had one, at least while at work. I noticed that during work on Tuesday I had contractions that started up at around 11:00 am, and then I had one or two an hour from then on. Then at around 5:00, while I was driving home from work and picking my daughter up from daycare, I had several - probably about 5 or 6 in the 45 minute period. So once I got home I tried laying down on my left side and drinking lots of water. The contractions continued to be about every 7-10 minutes apart for the next hour, so I texted around to some of my friends who had agreed to be "on call" for childcare for my daughter in case I had to go to the hospital. My lovely friend M agreed to come over right away and help take care of my daughter until my husband got home from work, and stay over at our house with her that night if needed.
By the time my husband got home from work a little after 7:00, my contractions were every 3-5 minutes. We ate dinner quickly and scrambled around packing things we would need for the hospital (I had not packed a bag yet). During that time, my contractions stopped. So, then we weren't sure what to do. Eventually I had another one, so we decided to go in and get checked out to be safe. I was afraid to go in too early for fear that they'd just go ahead and do a C-section because I was "far enough" along, but I didn't want to wait too long because my doctor had told me that it would be dangerous to labor too long and get a breech baby stuck in the birth canal.
We decided to go to the hospital just to be on the safe side, and I called my IPs and put them on high alert. They decided they wanted to wait and make sure the babies were actually on their way before starting their 5 hour drive. I got to the hospital at around 8:00 pm. They hooked me up to contraction and heart rate monitors and checked my cervix for dilation. I was dilated to a 2. About an hour and a half later they checked me again. Contractions had been regular, about every 5-10 minutes, but not particularly strong, and I was still dilated to a 2. They decided to wait another hour and a half and check me again. During this time, the contractions started petering out, and were more like every 10-20 minutes apart, still not particularly strong. But when they checked me, they saw that I was now at a 3. During the whole time they wouldn't even let me have water, because of the risk that I would need a C-section at any given time.
After discussing amongst themselves, they told me that they weren't convinced I was in labor, but they weren't convinced I wasn't. So they didn't want to deliver the babies premature if they would be able to stay in longer, but they also didn't want to send me home for fear that I would go into active labor and not be able to make it back in time. So, they decided they wanted to admit me overnight for observation. They sent my husband home, and moved me out of the observation unit to a room with an actual bed. I was allowed some snacks and water before I went to bed, which was around 1:00.
I think I got about half an hour of sleep that night, when the contractions eased up. Otherwise, I was up all night with fairly regular contractions. At around 5:00 am, I was having contractions every 7-12 minutes that were definitely feeling stronger and more real. I asked to have my dilation checked again, and was told I was still at a 3. So, back to more waiting.
At 6:30, room service opened up so I decided to order breakfast before I lost the chance to eat for the day. As I was waiting for it to arrive, my doctor showed up. He happened to be the on call doctor at the hospital that day anyway, and the staff let him know as soon as he arrived that his surrogacy patient had been there for about 10 hours. He reviewed my chart, and then came to tell me that there was no point in waiting. He wanted me to have a C-section within the next hour. Right as he was telling me this, they brought my breakfast to my room, and he turned it away...sigh.
So I called my IPs at about 7:15am and told them to hit the road, it was baby day!
On Tuesday, July 30th, I went to work as normal. My temp who has been hired to take over my job while I am gone had started the day before, so it was my second day of training her. I had been averaging about 10 contractions a day for two or three weeks, so I found I was tending to ignore them when they popped up. So one solution I had for this was just writing down whenever I had one, at least while at work. I noticed that during work on Tuesday I had contractions that started up at around 11:00 am, and then I had one or two an hour from then on. Then at around 5:00, while I was driving home from work and picking my daughter up from daycare, I had several - probably about 5 or 6 in the 45 minute period. So once I got home I tried laying down on my left side and drinking lots of water. The contractions continued to be about every 7-10 minutes apart for the next hour, so I texted around to some of my friends who had agreed to be "on call" for childcare for my daughter in case I had to go to the hospital. My lovely friend M agreed to come over right away and help take care of my daughter until my husband got home from work, and stay over at our house with her that night if needed.
By the time my husband got home from work a little after 7:00, my contractions were every 3-5 minutes. We ate dinner quickly and scrambled around packing things we would need for the hospital (I had not packed a bag yet). During that time, my contractions stopped. So, then we weren't sure what to do. Eventually I had another one, so we decided to go in and get checked out to be safe. I was afraid to go in too early for fear that they'd just go ahead and do a C-section because I was "far enough" along, but I didn't want to wait too long because my doctor had told me that it would be dangerous to labor too long and get a breech baby stuck in the birth canal.
We decided to go to the hospital just to be on the safe side, and I called my IPs and put them on high alert. They decided they wanted to wait and make sure the babies were actually on their way before starting their 5 hour drive. I got to the hospital at around 8:00 pm. They hooked me up to contraction and heart rate monitors and checked my cervix for dilation. I was dilated to a 2. About an hour and a half later they checked me again. Contractions had been regular, about every 5-10 minutes, but not particularly strong, and I was still dilated to a 2. They decided to wait another hour and a half and check me again. During this time, the contractions started petering out, and were more like every 10-20 minutes apart, still not particularly strong. But when they checked me, they saw that I was now at a 3. During the whole time they wouldn't even let me have water, because of the risk that I would need a C-section at any given time.
After discussing amongst themselves, they told me that they weren't convinced I was in labor, but they weren't convinced I wasn't. So they didn't want to deliver the babies premature if they would be able to stay in longer, but they also didn't want to send me home for fear that I would go into active labor and not be able to make it back in time. So, they decided they wanted to admit me overnight for observation. They sent my husband home, and moved me out of the observation unit to a room with an actual bed. I was allowed some snacks and water before I went to bed, which was around 1:00.
I think I got about half an hour of sleep that night, when the contractions eased up. Otherwise, I was up all night with fairly regular contractions. At around 5:00 am, I was having contractions every 7-12 minutes that were definitely feeling stronger and more real. I asked to have my dilation checked again, and was told I was still at a 3. So, back to more waiting.
At 6:30, room service opened up so I decided to order breakfast before I lost the chance to eat for the day. As I was waiting for it to arrive, my doctor showed up. He happened to be the on call doctor at the hospital that day anyway, and the staff let him know as soon as he arrived that his surrogacy patient had been there for about 10 hours. He reviewed my chart, and then came to tell me that there was no point in waiting. He wanted me to have a C-section within the next hour. Right as he was telling me this, they brought my breakfast to my room, and he turned it away...sigh.
So I called my IPs at about 7:15am and told them to hit the road, it was baby day!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Happy Birthday, Boys!
Baby boys were born at 9:01 and 9:03 this morning via c-section at 35 weeks, 5 days gestation. Surgery went smoothly and everyone is doing well. Baby A was 5lbs 1oz and B was 5lbs 8oz. They are being taken care of in the regular newborn nursery with no indication that they will need NICU time. Their parents are on the way from Chicago and very anxious to meet their sons!
I will update with a more detailed birth story later, but right now I am drugged up on morphine and severely sleep deprived, so it's time for a nap!
I will update with a more detailed birth story later, but right now I am drugged up on morphine and severely sleep deprived, so it's time for a nap!
Friday, July 26, 2013
35 Weeks and Appointment Update
I am 35 weeks pregnant today! I can't believe there are only 3 weeks or less to go!
I had my almost 35 week appointment yesterday. First was the ultrasound. Just did a quick check on both babies, and they are still looking good. I was shocked to find out that Baby B has turned back to head down. I assumed they were out of room this late in the game. I also thought for sure that I would feel them (painfully!) in the event they flipped, but he must have done it like a ninja in the night. Unfortunately his position doesn't really matter, and Baby A is still hanging out nice and comfy with his head in my ribcage. So a c-section it is. The tech said he actually looks like he has enough room to move if he wanted to, but he is just stubborn. We were able to snap a couple cute pictures of each of them this time. Also the tech said that she can tell Baby B is going to have a lot of hair!
Then it was on to the non-stress test. Again, fairly uneventful. Baby A decided he did not enjoy the contraction monitor sitting on top of him, so after a little while he started punching it. It was pretty funny because I could see the whole monitor moving, and the monitor readout had all these weird spikes in random places. Other than that, everything looked great, and it was off to see the doc.
Now that I have resigned myself to the idea of a c-section, my main question for the doctor was what to do if I went into labor on my own, and what would happen once I got to the hospital (they don't really walk you through a c-section scenario on the general hospital tour). He told me to go ahead and come in right when I was pretty sure I was in labor - no laboring at home is encouraged in this situation. He said they would do a quick evaluation, but they wouldn't wait around to see if I started dilating more or anything like that. He said at this point if I come in pregnant with twins and contracting regularly and strongly, they will most likely just go ahead and do the c-section rather than wait around and risk having someone get too far down in the birth canal.
I go to a very large practice with many different doctors (probably about 10-15). He said in most cases, whoever happens to be on call when I come in will be the one to deliver me. He said that since we are somewhat of a special case, he has put into my chart to have the medical staff call him when I get to the hospital, and if possible he will come in and deliver me. He did mention that he is going out of town from August 3-10, so he obviously won't be available those dates. I told him that in that case I'm pretty sure that's the time frame when the babies will decide to come, and he said yes, that's usually the way it works.
Anyway, I go back in another week for more of the same. They told me they will probably do a growth check on the babies next time (I'm thinking they should both be over 5lbs by then), and the doctor said we will schedule a c-section date for sometime around 38 weeks. My IF will be able to come to the next appointment (IM probably won't be able to make it), so I'm excited for him to be able to see his kiddos again and ask any last minute questions he has.
As far as how I'm feeling this week, I seem to have gotten a second wind here at the end! I think the fact that I got over my cold really helped, because being sick just makes me miserable in general and makes it so much harder for me to deal with anything else. Also, I broke down and bought some compression socks that I have been wearing with tennis-shoe type shoes, even to work. They are super sexy - black and knee high, but they help a lot! The swelling isn't totally gone, but it's much better than it was before, and it doesn't hurt to move my toes or bend my ankles now.
I am up to probably about 10 contractions a day now, but I haven't had anything strong or regular. Other than that I feel like my body can probably handle cooking these boys until they are forced out, unless they decide they want to meet their parents sooner than that!
I had my almost 35 week appointment yesterday. First was the ultrasound. Just did a quick check on both babies, and they are still looking good. I was shocked to find out that Baby B has turned back to head down. I assumed they were out of room this late in the game. I also thought for sure that I would feel them (painfully!) in the event they flipped, but he must have done it like a ninja in the night. Unfortunately his position doesn't really matter, and Baby A is still hanging out nice and comfy with his head in my ribcage. So a c-section it is. The tech said he actually looks like he has enough room to move if he wanted to, but he is just stubborn. We were able to snap a couple cute pictures of each of them this time. Also the tech said that she can tell Baby B is going to have a lot of hair!
Then it was on to the non-stress test. Again, fairly uneventful. Baby A decided he did not enjoy the contraction monitor sitting on top of him, so after a little while he started punching it. It was pretty funny because I could see the whole monitor moving, and the monitor readout had all these weird spikes in random places. Other than that, everything looked great, and it was off to see the doc.
Now that I have resigned myself to the idea of a c-section, my main question for the doctor was what to do if I went into labor on my own, and what would happen once I got to the hospital (they don't really walk you through a c-section scenario on the general hospital tour). He told me to go ahead and come in right when I was pretty sure I was in labor - no laboring at home is encouraged in this situation. He said they would do a quick evaluation, but they wouldn't wait around to see if I started dilating more or anything like that. He said at this point if I come in pregnant with twins and contracting regularly and strongly, they will most likely just go ahead and do the c-section rather than wait around and risk having someone get too far down in the birth canal.
I go to a very large practice with many different doctors (probably about 10-15). He said in most cases, whoever happens to be on call when I come in will be the one to deliver me. He said that since we are somewhat of a special case, he has put into my chart to have the medical staff call him when I get to the hospital, and if possible he will come in and deliver me. He did mention that he is going out of town from August 3-10, so he obviously won't be available those dates. I told him that in that case I'm pretty sure that's the time frame when the babies will decide to come, and he said yes, that's usually the way it works.
Anyway, I go back in another week for more of the same. They told me they will probably do a growth check on the babies next time (I'm thinking they should both be over 5lbs by then), and the doctor said we will schedule a c-section date for sometime around 38 weeks. My IF will be able to come to the next appointment (IM probably won't be able to make it), so I'm excited for him to be able to see his kiddos again and ask any last minute questions he has.
As far as how I'm feeling this week, I seem to have gotten a second wind here at the end! I think the fact that I got over my cold really helped, because being sick just makes me miserable in general and makes it so much harder for me to deal with anything else. Also, I broke down and bought some compression socks that I have been wearing with tennis-shoe type shoes, even to work. They are super sexy - black and knee high, but they help a lot! The swelling isn't totally gone, but it's much better than it was before, and it doesn't hurt to move my toes or bend my ankles now.
I am up to probably about 10 contractions a day now, but I haven't had anything strong or regular. Other than that I feel like my body can probably handle cooking these boys until they are forced out, unless they decide they want to meet their parents sooner than that!
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